Wednesday, September 13, 2017

American Horror Story: Cult - Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

You would think that clowns and Donald Trump are one and the same, but on this show they are very different!  We're back with American Horror Story: Cult and seriously, Sarah Paulson is one of the best actresses this show has had.  She just puts 100 percent into each one of these characters, IMO.

This week, Ally wakes up with a frightening clown in bed next to her.  She grabs wife Ivy to investigate, and not surprisingly, she finds nothing.  But is it just that the clowns are really fast and sneaky?!  Because now I see one in her son's room switching off the nightlight.  It's very hard to tell if the clowns are real or imagined on this show!  Oh, it was just a nightmare.  Poor Oz.

Back to Kai, who antagonized migrant workers into beating him, and is using it to speak out against undocumented citizens. He has also decided to run for city council to try and replaced Kang, who was murdered in last week's episode, possibly by clowns?  Speaking of Kang, Ally tries to peek into the house when the new neighbors are moving in their belongings.

Racial tensions run high at Ivy and Ally's restaurant in wake of the political climate and attack on Kai.  Back at home, they've apparently decided to keep employing the dumbass nanny that shows Oz murder videos.  Oz calls her out to lying to the moms about what they saw about the murders next door.  Of course, conveniently the new neighbors are beekeepers, right in time to freak out Ally with the honeycombs.  They're a little freaky themselves, TBH.

The alarm goes off at Ally's and Ivy's restaurant, and stupidly, Ally goes down there in her pajamas with no police, and clowns likely stalking her. For good measure, she wanders around a fridge full of animal carcasses, and maybe the corpse of a chef!  But who knows, because a lot of things are dreams and hallucinations on this show.

Obviously unsettled after the events of late, Ivy just goes straight to pick up her hot therapist.  As it so turns out, the chef was murdered, and police suspect Pedro, another cook.  Of course the new neighbors have an entire weapons cache that they've been building up "since Obama got elected."  Ally, newly a gun enthusiast, takes one for herself.

While fortifying their house with extra security measures, Kai knocks on the door.  He rants on with Breitbart-ish statistics and taunts her.  Back at the restaurant, Pedro laments being a suspect.  Winter, the worst nanny on earth, does a shitty job of putting Oz to bed and then seems to scare Ally on purpose as she stares at her medication.  Instead of encouraging her to take it, LIKE SHE SHOULD, she runs her a bath and pours wine. Andddd, maybe gets sort of sexual?  This show is weird.

Should your child's nanny be washing your back in the tub when your wife is at work?!  My guess is NO.  The alarm sounds...and do we think that Winter and the clowns are working together?  All signs point to YES.  The gay guy from next door comes over screaming that the power loss is a result of massive terrorism, sending Ally into a frenzy.  Winter suddenly feels the need to save her ceramics and peaces.  Ally is probably locked in her super secure house with the clowns.

Instead of just driving over to the restaurant, she runs about with a gun and hatches this ridiculous plan to run to the neighbor's house.  When she opens the door, Pedro is on the other side with supplies.  Sadly for Pedro, Ally is super trigger-happy and down goes Pedro.  Until next week!




Thursday, September 7, 2017

American Horror Story: Cult - Election Night

I apparently don't have trypophobia, because these ads didn't freak me out.  I actually thought they were pretty cool.  We're back with a new season of AHS, and I'm going to recap it this time around, which means spoilers abound!

Probably worth noting going into this recap that I'm a major liberal/feminist/snowflake and I voted Hillary, so while holes don't scare me, Trump does.  And I sure did cry on election night.

On AHS, we see two different people reacting to the election.  Ally (Sarah Paulson) fears for her and her partner Ivy's (Allison Pill) rights. Kai (Evan Peters) celebrates, and paints himself in cheese puffs, doing a Trump impression.  He taunts Winter (Billie Lourd), who is mourning the win and its possible effect on her reproductive rights.  Turns out that they are sister and brother, and they have a strange pact that involves pinky promises...or something.

Elsewhere, a sexy couple is getting it on in a serene field.  The woman feels they're being watched, and the man jokes that it is Twisty the Clown.  Turns out that wasn't such a funny joke to make after all.  Instead of stupidly staying and mourning her now-dead boytoy, she breaks out in a decent sprint for being in a bra and miniskirt, but runs herself right into Twisty's bus.  Sooo, has Twisty returned?  No, it is just the plot of a comic that Ally and Ivy's son, Oz (Cooper Dodsen) is reading in bed.  Finding the comic sends Ally, who has coulrophobia, into a panic.  She revisits her psychologist, Dr. Rudy Vincent (Cheyenne Jackson), concerned that her fears are taking over her life again, as more begin to surface, included trypophobia.

Kai makes a presentation to his community, proposing that people be allowed to live in fear in order to flesh out the strong amongst them.  In response, Councilmen Chang (Tim Kang) has perhaps the best line of the episode:  "I'm glad that you 4chan guys feel empowered to join the rest of us in civil society now that Papa Bear Trump is telling you it's okay."

Ally spirals downward further when she has an episode at a grocery store where she feels clowns are terrorizing her.  Running away causes her to crash her car.  Ivy is concerned about the effect of Ally's mental state on their marriage, child, and business.  While they argue outside their restaurant, Kai throws a drink on them.  In need of a new nanny for Oz, they hire Winter, unaware of any connection to Kai.

Kai antagonizes a group of Mexican men into beating him.  Right from the jump, Winter is an extremely inappropriate nanny.  She asks invasive questions about his moms and shows him pictures of dead bodies, and compares it to getting vaccinations. During a romantic evening tasting at their restaurant, Ally freaks out again about holes and clowns.  At home, on a break from murder videos, Oz sees several clowns exit an ice cream truck.

According to Oz, he and Winter saw the Changs (the next door neighbors) murdered by a group of clowns, the same ones that Ally claims to have seen in the grocery store.  Winter says they didn't go outside until the police showed up.  Ally wakes in the night to a noise, and sees a clown in bed next to her!





Sunday, July 23, 2017

30 Days of Night (2007)

So I actually really love 30 Days of Night and I can't believe I've never written a review on it before.  This afternoon, my husband took our son out, giving me a much-needed break, and as I flipped through the channels, this movie was just about to start on SyFy.  I've been furiously writing recaps lately (this time, The Mist) with hopes of getting that part of my blog back up and running again, but it will be nice to review a movie I've already seen a few times.

30 Days of Night is about the town of Barrow, Alaska, where every year in the winter, that have 30 days of night.  This movie actually wasn't shot in Alaska, but rather in New Zealand.  Eben Oleson (Josh Harrnett) is the town's sheriff, and his estranged wife, Stella (Melissa George), unwillingly becomes stranded in town when she misses the last plane out.  Meanwhile, a stranger (Ben Foster) approaches the town.  Eben gets called to various locations in town due to people finding phones, helicopters and dogs ripped to bits.  Of course, that's followed by people getting shredded up as well.

And this all comes back to...vampires!  These are not shiny True Blood or Twilight vampires.  They're gnarly and have scary teeth and nails and their own language.  Will the residents of Barrow survive a month of vampires besieging their town?

Honestly, I think this movie rocks.  Good vampire movies are few and far between, and this one had both a cool setting and a good cast.  Not to mention awesome makeup and special effects.  And you know what, Josh Hartnett is BAE, and I don't care what anyone thinks.  This gets the thumbs up from Scream Queen.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

The Mist (TV Series) - Season 1, Episode 3 - "Show and Tell"

So things at the church are looking pretty boring, I guess to be expected.  Kevin and Adrian muse about the possibility that everyone they know is dead, but Kevin spots a car that they hope Mia can hotwire.

Back at the mall, things aren't much better.  Alex is going through a ton of shit, not the least of which is being trapped in the mall with the guy who allegedly raped her (Jay).  The useless mall manager, Gus, and a security guy help Jay cut down the people who hung themselves.  Ensuring they will truly upset everyone, they wheel the dead bodies right through the crowd, announcing that the deceased are members of the Army.  Gus laments about how leaving the dead bodies in the mall will shut down the food court for life.  Nice thinking, bro! No one cares about the longevity of the stupid food court.

At the church, Nathalie is waxing poetic about nature and her conspiracy theories, which will probably all mean something later, but no one will pay attention.  Kevin tries to reason with Connor to let him, Mia, Kyle and Adrian leave to go to the mall, but Connor insists that Kyle and Mia are still prisoners, and tosses them in the basement instead.  Mia is still looking for pulls, and Kyle gives in, as well as unlocking her handcuffs, seemingly all as a promise of future trust.

Kevin is still all about busting out Mia, but Adrian is wary, now that she's been accused of murder.  Turns out she can hotwire a car, and the escape plan is on.  Adrian speaks to the priest, pointing out that God doesn't love him because he is gay.  The priest, surprisingly, asserts that being gay is not a sin.  Connor steps in, accusing Adrian of the sin of lying by saying Jay raped Alex.  Adrian stands by his claim, and Connor confronts Kevin, saying that Alex "sleeps around" like her mother, Eve.  And now, Kevin's in the basement with the people he planned on rescuing.  Ooops.

At the mall, the game store guys have plotted to use the dead bodies as bait to see what type of creatures arrive.  Eve and Alex planned to set up a new "camp," far away from Jay.  But Jay follows Alex into a store, telling a story about how he put her to sleep in a room alone, but did not rape her.  He weirdly touches her hand and "doesn't hurt her" as proof, and Alex seems conflicted.

At the church, Nathalie says her goodbyes and plans to go home.  You know, through the mist and everything.  The man she was chatting with earlier (I can't figure out his name?) follows her out, and gets inhabited by moths.  Nathalie decides to stay in the church after all, since she's now "seen God," much to the shock of the priest.

At the mall, the game store guys are in trouble for their little corpse experiment, and Gus decides there needs to be rules.  And while I understand Eve's concern about Alex's maybe-rapist, I don't know that moving them to a secluded area of the mall is the best plan.  At the church, I thought Adrian was just distracting the priest with the whole God chat but it seems like he might be serious, as he requests to be baptized.  At the mall, as soon as they start writing the rules down, people immediately splinter off into a "move out" group, that are not going to follow the rules.  Jay begs Alex to stay, and Eve whips out a gun.

At the church, a weird teenage baptism is going on in the midst of all of this.  And FUCKING A YES, it WAS a cover, as Adrian steals the keys!  Basement escape in 3, 2, 1....

At the mall, people release balloons with SOS notes on them.  It's praised as a great idea, but I'm not so sure.  Balloons in the mist doesn't seem so brilliant to me.  Until next ep!

Sunday, July 16, 2017

The Mist (TV Series) - Season 1, Episode 2 - "Withdrawal"

Police Chief Connor Heisel aka Jay's dad (Darren Pettie) has decided to say f it to the poor suckers at the police station, and hightailed it out of there, leaving them behind and almost immediately hitting a moose.  That's what you get for being an asshole, right?  Post-husband's death, Nathalie has taken refuge in the church.  Meanwhile, in the mall, Eve and Alex are being questioned by the mall manager.  All the people here seem to have way too much faith in the incompetent police force coming to save the day. I'm pretty sure they're all dead or hitting moose at this point.  The mall manager determines that locking the (glass) mall doors will keep everything out.

Back at the police station, Mia searches the evidence room for opiates.  Kyle agrees to not tell Kevin about her addiction, if she doesn't take any pills.  Kimmi, Eve and Alex are assigned to lock a set of doors, and on their way back, they spot a dead man in a restricted area that is filled with mist.  Eve reports it to the mall manager, who brightens at the mention of Homeland Security-issued radios, until he realizes they reside in the wing that is now filled with mist.  Womp womp.

Back at the police station, Kevin, Kyle, Mia and Adrian run into the mist to get into a police car.  They drive away without incident, for now.  The mall people. already becoming reminiscent of Dawn of the Dead, use a drone to investigate the mist-filled wing.  They determine the mist entered through an open window, and find a dead body, which consequently causes the drone to be stuck in blood.

For some reason, the jail crew chooses Mia to drive, even though it's quite obvious that she's withdrawing hardcore.  She almost immediately crashes the car while trying to avoid a carjacking, and the windows begin to crack and expose them to the mist.  They, too, find refuge in the church, where of course they find the police chief that deserted them.

Back at the mall, Eve's name gets drawn to go into the mist and body-filled administrative wing.  Luckily, someone volunteers to accompany her.  Not the mall manager, who is awful, but Clint, who we know little about.  Poor Mia is going through withdrawal in a church, which seems like a horrible place to go through that.  Back at the mall, Clint calls for "Arrowhead" on the radio, which was the badge on Kyle's shirt.  Significance!  Eve gets freaked and tries to run, grabbing his gun in the process, and ultimately shooting him.  She runs back to the mist with her newfound firearm, but nothing to report on the contacting help front.

Eve lies, saying that she and Clint lost each other in the hall, and says the radio didn't work.  At the church, Nathalie is busting out the communion wine, saying she wants to make a toast to her deceased husband.  She actually tells a really lovely story about them meeting as young, broke hippies and never losing their love of making spaghetti and drinking cheap wine.  The narc police chief comes around and nabs Adrian for "underage drinking," throwing in a jab at Alex's rape in the process.

At the mall, Jay goes to use the bathroom and finds Clint's friends, who no one has ever seen before, hanging in the bathroom.  At the church, Kyle admits to Mia that he saw her mother in the mist as well!