Saturday, August 2, 2008

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

Obviously, the logical opening point for this movie would be where
the last one left off. However, that would not be the case here. The movie opens with Kelly Kapowski and Ash stuck in some sort of crazy broken elevator which is soon infested with bats. Well that's that, and then suddenly they pull the whole B-list out for this little flick. We've got the coach from The Faculty, the Mexican brother from Nip/Tuck, and dudes from several random horror sequels. And of course, Danny Trejo shows up to the party because homeboy never misses a chance to be on the big screen.

So we've got elevator failures, backwoods Texas hicks, and plenty of animal abuse before we get to any sort of actual plotline. Let me tell you, over the years, I've seen hundreds and hundreds of people killed in horror movies in dozens of different ways, but pitbull fighting still turns my crazy ass off.
So as far as I can see, for the majority of this movie, everyone is sitting around, watching porn, and there are random bats flying around. Sure, one guy shows up in the (incredibly quickly rebuilt) Titty Twister for a hot minute, but it appears to be pretty much hotel rooms, bats, and calls to the cops. I was seriously bored.

Oh, and there's a bank robbery, a solar eclipse, and a few vampires in there somewhere. Ugh, this was boring as hell. I can't even bring myself to watch #3.
Grade: F (Exorcist 2 - Awesome first movie, completely ridiculous sequel)