Saturday, December 27, 2008

Masters of Horror - Pro-Life (2006)

I really, really wanted to like this ep of MOH. But, seriously, this was one of the most terrible things I ever seen. This guy made Halloween?! REALLY?
Anyway, Pro-Life starts with this teenager running through the woods all Kiss-the-Girls style. She almost gets hit by a car, which happens to contain two abortion doctors? So they take her to the "clinic" to get checked out. Please note at this point they are not aware that she is pregnant, but apparently they feel the abortion clinic is the best place to get her non-injuries examined. Unfortuately, her dad, a pro-life activist with a restraining order, is close behind. The baby is growing rapidly in her belly, even though she apparently only got pregnant last week! And the father (her father, not the baby's) is quickly closing in on the clinic. It's too late for abortion and she's giving birth already. She emphasizes this fact by saying "it's coming" about 100 times before the baby actually does. And the nurse gets sprayed with some crazy burning liquids during the birth that put her out of commission.
There's a crazy gun war going on between the doctors and the anti-abortion fam, all while this birth is taking place. As described in the teaser for this movie, the child is actually one of some sort of devil in a costume I could have gotten from Walgreens. But the baby is some sort of crab like thing. And the girl's father still wants to keep it. Seriously, this movie makes no goddamn sense whatsoever. Also, the acting? Unbearable.
Grade: F (One Missed Call: total fail of a movie involving babies)