Sunday, January 25, 2009

Asylum (2007)

College students getting murdered? A haunted dorm?! Call Jared Leto and the Noxzema girl because we're doing Urban Legend Part 3!

Asylum is the story of a group of college students starting their first year at Richard Miller University. Apparently this school only accepts people who have had major childhood issues because everyone in this movie has some sort of strange past affliction.

They all move into a "new" dorm, but only after a Crazy-Ralph-like maintenence guy telling them to "be careful." Why, you wonder? Because the dorm used to be a....mental hospital! Long story short, a weird doctor took over the asylum in the 1930's, kicked everyone but teenagers out, and proceeded to give them all lobotomies to cure their ills. Until they staged a revolution and killed the doctor, that is.

So now the dorm is haunted by this psycho doctor and the poor students and their past demons are involved. Each person gets individually "visited" by the doctor and transported back into whatever was their problem before they came to this glorious institution. One guy has a crazy eating disorder, one has an alcoholic mother, abusive boyfriends, schitzo get the picture.

The doctor's tagline is "Give Me Your Suffering!" which I find pretty bizarre. I guess it's "give" in terms of "let me GIVE you a lobotomy" but I'm not entirely sure.

This movie was pretty predictable, and although I wasn't really pushed to the point of turning it off at any point, it was generally boring and cliched. Meh.

Grade: D (I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - kids go to college and just repeat cliche after horror cliche)


Jeremy Sambuca said...

Where do you find these movies?!