Monday, August 30, 2010

Movie News: A bunch of people sign on for Hostel 3

Ugh, give this franchise a break, seriously.  I heard about this news today because I was doing a little thinking about Hostel.  Much like Saw, the awesomeness of the original has been pretty watered down by sequels.  I really ought to give Hostel a rewatch, but in the meantime, it looks like they're making a third one.

Eli Roth will not be involved with this abomination, but some recognizable actors have signed on.  Let's see:

-John Hensley (Matt from "Nip/Tuck")
-Brian Hallisay ("Bones")
-Sarah Habel ("Party Down")
-Kip Pardue ("The Rules of Attraction")
-Skyler Stone ("The Island")
-Thomas Kretchsmann ("King Kong")
-Chris Coy (Barry from "True Blood")

This time, the slicing and dicing will take place in Las Vegas where a bachelor party goes horribly wrong and likely ends in gratuitous torture porn and other such nonsense.  Blah.  How can they keep calling the freakin' thing "Hostel" when it no longer has anything to do with actual hostels?!

Movie News: Hobo With a Shotgun is in post-production

When I heard they were making this making this movie, I was super-excited.  But then I figured it was going to be one of those things where it was all, "Yeah we're going to do this, it's going to be epic!!!" and then it would just fizzle out.

But apparently this is not the case.  Filming has wrapped up and that picture to the left is seriously how Rutger Hauer looks up in this flick.  No release date as of yet, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that this is probably going straight to DVD. 

For those who aren't aware, Hobo with a Shotgun is the result a winning fake trailer for Robert Rodriguez's SXSW Grindhouse contest.  Apparently the trailer was so badass that someone thought that should make it into a movie.  Hobo chronicles a man (Rutger Hauer) who goes all vigilante on bad guys including crooked cops and a pedophile Santa Claus.

This thing sounds totally cheesy and campy and I can't wait to see it.  Plus, Rutger Hauer is the freakin' man.  More updates to come.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Movie News: OMG, the Thanksgiving script is being worked on as we speak!

Screw The Last Exorcism.  All I care about is Thanksgiving.   Eli Roth recently did an interview with CinemaBlend and gave us the updated scoop:

"I’ve been working on the script with my co-writer, Jeff Rendell, who plays the pilgrim in the trailer," Roth tells the site. "And it’s me imitating Jeff’s voice [for the narration]. But Jeff has been working. I said that his deal is he has to work on the script while I’m promoting The Last Exorcism, and as soon as I’m done in mid-September, he’s going to fly to California, we’re going to sit down, and bang out the script."

Woohoo!  I am so excited about this flick.  Thank goodness we have the grindhouse goodness of Machete to hold us over until then.  Also, don't forget that the Grindhouse Double Feature is being released on special edition Blu-Ray on October 5.  It has tons of special features including the making of the Thanksgiving trailer.

Movie News: Will Machete Save Lindsay Lohan's Career?

I think it's pretty clear to everyone by now that Miss Lohan is not the world's greatest actress.  But neither are a lot of actresses (cough* Megan Fox* cough) who continue to get tons of work nonetheless.

The Linds has had her share of problems over the years, mostly recently being a stint in jail and rehab.  It's safe to say that the once smokin' hot starlet has lost her looks a bit after bouts with alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders.

But even though she has been fired from movies for failing to show up on set, Robert Rodriguez decided to take a chance on the chick and hire her for Machete.  She spent much of the filming time in trouble with the law, drinking her face off, and in and out of court dates.  She missed the film's premiere on Wednesday night, but her co-stars are wishing her well.

Said Jessica Alba, "Lindsay is so good in the movie … I’m very proud."  Danny Trejo, no stranger to jail time himself, said, "Lindsay’s gonna be cool. She knows it. I know it. You know, she got in a little trouble, and now she’s had a little time to put her head together. She’ll be alright. We’ll pick her up again.”

And even RR himself spoke up, "She's awesome in the movie. That's what they'll see: the actress behind all that paparazzi nonsense that follows her and won't leave her alone. They'll get to see her and say, 'Oh, that's why we follow her around.'"

So, will Machete resurrect La Lohan's dead in the water career?  The troubled starlet is also slated to start filming Inferno, a biopic about Linda Lovelace in November.  A fully armed nun and a porn star?  It's gotta be better than I Know Who Killed Me, right?  

Sutures (2009)

This was a pretty solid movie.  Even though it has a general premise similar to Hostel and the like, it has a fast-moving storyline, some decent gore, and an interesting twist at the end.

Sutures starts out pretty standard with a group of stressed med students headed up to a distant cabin for a little rest and relaxation.  They stop for gas on the way in the middle of nowhere and go along on their way.  Shortly after, a formidable man, Alexander Tatum, also stops by the gas station.  He questions the attendant about the previous visitors, but the man brushes off his questions.  This leads to torture in order for Alexander to figure out where the college students are headed. 

Alexander follows them to their cabin retreat and skulks around the house before stealing some organs and dragging them off to a secret location.  All of the kids are in for a different kind of torture -- from having their organs outright taken, to being test subjects for viruses, and to being guinea pigs for triage practice.  Meanwhile, we learn that all is not what it seems with Alexander Tatum. He has an f'ed up childhood that makes him behave in this manner and is testing the limits by breaking the "rules" of this little organ harvesting ring.

Luckily enough for her, one of the women is able to escape, and spends the entire movie in a hospital room relaying this story to a police officer.  The officer becomes frustrated as she fades in and out of conciousness and becomes more and more vague in her statement of the facts.  And when the officer steps out for a moment...

I thought this movie was pretty solid.  Sure, it was low-budget and the acting could have used some help, but I found it to be a bit of a fresh take on the cookie-cutter torture porn script.  The background of Tatum is definitely a new one, and the twist in the end came as a surprise.  And horror fans know that surprise endings are pretty few and far between these days.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Movie News: Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell will cameo in Scream 4

Most of the Scream 4 news has sort of bored me, to be honest, but I think this is a fun little tidbit.  Both Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell have been confirmed as having cameos in Scream 4, which is filming now and is slated to be released in April 2011. 

Hmmm, what parts will they play?  Will they stick around for the whole movie, or be killed off first thing, Drew Barrymore-style?  Looking forward to seeing these ladies on the big screen.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Session 9 (2001)

I'm a bad horror fan, but I just did not like this movie.  I've heard a lot of hype about it, and it looked really promising.  But I just did not get it.

Session 9 is the story of an old mental hospital, which is being refurbished to house some city offices.  However, in order to do so, a bunch of dangerous asbestos has to be removed.  Being a government agency and all, they have to bring in different contractors to review the job and bid on it.

Enter Gordon (Peter Mullan) and his crew.  Gordon is really struggling at home.  His new baby is sick and he and his wife are not getting much rest.  He really needs this job in order to make ends meet, so he makes the guy a ridiculous offer.  They'll finish the job in a week....where other contractors were quoting 3-4 weeks.  His co-workers are none too happy about finishing this job in a hurry, but with a bonus in their sights, they press on.

The mental hospital is definitely a creepy place, and this movie definitely did not fail in the way of ambiance.  As the men go to work, Mike (Stephen Gevedon) a law school dropout, begins to dig around the records, researching the case of Mary Hobbes.  He becomes enthralled by listening to the tapes of her interviews, which exhibit her multiple personalities.  I found these scenes to be seriously freaky, and I thought that the movie would focus on ghost/possession of Mary or somesuch thing, but this definitely went in a totally different direction.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew is doing their own thing.  Phil (David Caruso) is angry at Hank (Josh Lucas) for stealing his longtime girlfriend.  He has taken up smoking pot, and becomes concerned about Gordon's mental condition.  Hank on the other hand, is a compulsive gambler looking for an out from the job and his girlfriend.  He finds this in some hidden treasure in the asylum's walls.  Jeff (Brendan Sexton III) is the youngest of the crew, and is terrified of the dark...therefore he should probably not be working in an old asylum. 

Strange things start happening on the job, beginning with Hank going missing, presumably running off to casino school in Miami.  The generator fails, and the men are left scrambling in the dark, all seeming to be chased by something.  But by who? 

I found this movie to be really slow moving and actually not very scary at all.  I felt like it really kicked off the creepiness with the freaky old building and the chilling multiple personality voices, but then it just never really continued from there.  The ending was seriously weak, and I had to look it up on Wikipedia just to even figure out what happened.  So sorry to all that liked this movie, but I found it to be a fail.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thr3e (2006)

Oddly enough, this is the second movie this week I've seen that is (a) based on a Ted Dekker novel (b) featuring Bill Moseley.  And Priscilla Barnes is up in this bitch too -- yippee!

Thr3e kicks off kind of like Seven.  There is a "Riddle Killer" on the loose, calling people and asking them weird questions and blowing shit up.  Jennifer Peters, a psychologist and true crime author, becomes part of the game when she chases the riddles all around town and finds her brother strapped to an explosive car when it's too late.

Switch gears, and now we're at a seminary.  Kevin Parson is a brilliant student who has sort of hit a wall with his thesis.  His professor encourages him to continue to work on it, and he drives away in thought.  A phone rings, and, dun dun dun, it seems to be the Riddle Killer.  Kevin is told to confess to a major sin in three minutes, or his car will be blown to pieces.  He pulls over and gets out of the car, which does blow up, but he is safe.

He goes to the police and tells them what's up, but leaves out the little part about the caller telling him to confess.  He returns to his home, where his childhood friend Samantha comes to visit him and offer comfort.  We learn that poor Kevin had a pretty f'ed up childhood.  His parents died and he was left to the care of his psychotic aunt, "Princess" (pictured above)  She forced Kevin to live in some sort of weird world where she sheltered him and convinced everyone in the house that Eisenhower was still president and all kinds of nonsense.  She also tended to lock him up for days at a time.

So the search for the Riddle Killer continues, and Kevin confesses his "sin", which he believes points to a boy from his childhood as being the killer.  Everyone treks back to the house of freaks to see whats up and there's lots of running around and bombs, and Bill Moseley's awesome voice.

This was a solid thriller...not really a horror movie, but it was creepy and the story was good.  The ending did actually come as an interesting surprise and I liked it. 

*Bill Moseley appearance time: 33:00 minutes in (that's just when we recognized it as his voice.  He was in the movie earlier than that, I believe)
*Best Moseley quote: "Shut up or I will staple your lips together."

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Blob (1988)

This movie was pure cheesy 80s goodness.  I'm usually such a basher of remakes, but I thought this was fun and gory, just like I like my 80s horror to be ;o)

The Blob is the story of a small town which is taken over by a strange blob-like creature.  The entity is set loose by an old man who sees a falling star/meteor that lands near him.  He pokes it with a stick and out comes the blob.  As it turns out, this was a little government experiment gone awry and this town is in some big trouble.

Meg Penny (Shawnee Smith) and Paul Taylor (Donovan Leitch) are out on a nice little date when they nearly run down the old dude in the road.  They take him to the hospital, where he quickly begins to disenegrate (see above)  By now, the shit is on and the blob is soaking up people left and right.  After Paul gets sucked in, Meg and town bad boy Brian (Kevin Dillon) are forced to battle the creature on their own.

This was a fun movie with all the requisite 80s effects and corniness that you could ask for.  I picked this up for my Bill Moseley movie project, and sadly, the man himself only appears for about 3 minutes towards the end.  Bummer on that front.

Bill Moseley appearance time: 1 hour and 14 minutes in as a seriously freaked out soldier

Movie News: "The Loved Ones" looks pretty freakin' awesome

Thank God for those Aussies who come around every once in a while with a kickass horror flick.  The Loved Ones is described as being "Misery meets Carrie" and I'm not one to say no to that type of action.

Although I was warned not to peep the trailer, I did it anyway.  Bad Scream Queen.  Apparently those who saw the actual movie say that the trailer gives away the best parts.  Well, every Judd Apatow trailer does the same damn thing and I still see those movies.

The Loved Ones is the story of awkward school loner, Lola, who asks the handsome Brent to the school dance.  But Brent already has a date, Holly, and turns Lola down.  Well as it turns out, Lola is going to do just about anything to have her date with Brent.  So she kidnaps his ass and holds a torture-filled prom in her kitchen, with her demented father to lend a hand.

This looks pretty awesome and the reviews are appearing positive as well.  No word yet on when this will hit shelves but I'll be keeping an eye out.

Hunger (2009)

Dammit, Blockbuster got me on this damn exclusive Fangoria deal.  I can't even remember the last time I actually rented a movie from an actual brick and mortar store.  That shit is more than $5 now.  No wonder Netflix is making a killing.

Anyway, I digress.  Fangoria is releasing a bunch of movies exclusively to Blockbuster and Hunger is one of them.  I saw the previews for the rest and was meh about most of them, but I really wanted to see this one.

Hunger is the story of five people who wake up in a room, having no idea where they are. They stumble around in the darkness and realize that they have been locked in a dungeon-like space with a bunch of water but zero food.  One of the captives, Jordan, is a doctor and she quickly realizes what's up.  The average human body can only survive 30 days without food.  Conveniently enough, there appears to be a clock in the room that counts exactly 30 days.

At first, the group wonders why they are all in this together, but they soon realize that they all have something rather sinister in common.  At first, they remain a strong alliance against their captor, but as the days pass, they begin to turn on each other.  Their creepy warden watches with glee as they form little mini alliances and plot against each other in order to survive.  Additionally, we find out that there is an ultra disturbing reason that the "scientist" is keeping them locked up in this mess.

I thought this was a good movie.  It kept me interested, and it only veered out of the path of realism a few times, I felt.  The ending was sort of meh, but I don't really see where else they could have gone with it, so I'll take it.  I think this one's definitely worth checking out.  I'm not sure when Netflix will be carrying it, but Blockbuster has a whole section devoted to the Fangoria exclusives. 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

House (2008)

This movie was seriously confusing.  I'm not really entirely sure what it was about.  Two couples are t
traveling separately through Alabama where they blow their tires on some old farm equipment.  In search of help, they come across a weird bed and breakfast run by Betty (Leslie Easterbrook), Stewart (Bill Moseley) and Pete (Lew Temple).  The lovebirds aren't too keen on staying there, but there's no cell service or working phones so they're sort of stuck.

During dinner, they hear some noises out front and the proprietors of this fine establishment rush to close and bolt the doors and windows.  It turns out the visitor is the "Tin Man," some sort of murderer who only goes after people who did something wrong.  So we start in with the seems like all of these people have done something bad in their lives.

From here on out, the movie just kind of loses it.  The Tin Man and the weird family chase everyone around the gigantic house, trying to kill them or make them kill each other.  There's some little creepy girl thrown into the mix and I never quite understood what her purpose was.  This movie was just boring and nonsensical.  Skip it.

*Bill Moseley appears at 24 minutes

photo source

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Movie News: "My Soul to Take" gets poster and new release date

 What a lame poster.  Seriously I would walk right past that thing thinking its some sort of Michael Cera movie or something.  Too many words, stupid picture, crappy white background.  Meh.

Also, the flick has moved up its 2D and 3D release date to October 8.  I'm starting to realize why 3D peaced out in the 80s.  I've only seen like one 3D movie and I am already just sick of hearing about it.  I just don't think seeing movies in 3D is that awesome.  Maybe I just need to see something in particular to change my mind...?

Anyway, I'm probably going to wait for this to come out on DVD before I check it out.  I just haven't found anything too compelling or interesting about it.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Lethal Eviction (2005)

Apparently maybe they were thinking of calling this movie Grayson Arms?  That's the name of the apartment building.  Anyway, it seems like they went with Lethal Eviction but this is a much better picture.

This is a decent movie with a solid cast.  There's a pretty good twist, but if you're a seasoned horror fan like yours truly, you'll probably spot it coming from a mile away.

Lethal Eviction is about an apartment building undergoing sort of a transition.  The owner bites it, and the tenants are living in rent control and under their own rules.  Jennifer Carpenter plays two roles: twin sisters Sarah and Tess.  Sarah is a nice and stable twenty-something taxed with constantly taking care of her crazy-ass twin Tess.

Also in the building are a group of drunk fratboy types, a curmudgeony old lady, and Hispanic drag queen Hector.  However, it seems these residents are in for a bit of a change in living situation.  Amanda (the lovely Stacey Dash) and Gus (dad from the Fresh Prince) have bought the building and they plan on booting everyone out of their apartments and start charging increased rents.

Meanwhile, creeper Shep (Judd Nelson) comes around and says he'll rent an apartment at pretty much any price.  Also, he keeps having random and weird visions of Tess.  Does he have some sort of ulterior motive....?  After Amanda holds a little "new owner" party in her apartment, residents start dying off left and right.  Of course the newbies are the first to be blamed, but who is really the killer? [insert evil laugh]

This isn't a bad way to spend 1.5 hours, and it's a relatively creative storyline with decent actors.  Worth a watch.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Movie News: William Forsythe to Star in The Rig

I like William Forsythe.  The only thing I could say negatively about him (and it really wasn't his fault) was that Southern Gothic was horrendous.  Seriously, the sound was so screwy on that thing that I had to turn it off halfway through because I couldn't be bothered to keep turning the volume up and down for fear of infuriating half my apartment building.

But I digress.  Mr. Forsythe is back and he gets the top billing treatment on The Rig, which will be out on DVD on October 5.  The synopsis from

"When a tropical storm forces an offshore drilling company to evacuate non-essential personnel from the Charlie oil rig, the small but experienced crew left behind settles in to ride out the storm. Their routine night is interrupted when a crew member goes missing and an extensive search proves futile. Slowly, they discover that a deadly creature is stalking the crew, eliminating them one by one. Surrounded by nothing but raging ocean with no hope of escape, the roughnecks must survive the stormy night with an unrelenting force of death hunting them down. The film also stars Stacey Hinnen (“Modern Family,” “Monk”), Serah D’Laine (Wild Things: Diamonds in the Rough; “General Hospital”), Marcus T. Paulk (Red Tails, “Moesha”) and Dan Benson (“Wizards of Waverly Place.”)"

This movie comes strangely close to the BP oil disaster, but it is a new premise.  I don't think I've ever heard of a horror movie taking place on an oil rig before (although feel free to prove me wrong in the comments)  I'll be checking this one out with hopes of it being sort of like a bloody Deadliest Catch. 

Oldboy (2003)

This movie was so awesome.  Although I wouldn't catergorize it as straight "horror," I think it's worth reviewing here.  Those who enjoy horror will love the violence and people who like great movies will love the storyline and the twists.

Oldboy begins with Oh Dae-Su and his friend Joo-Hwan in a police station.  Dae-Su is drunk and disorderly and Joo-Hwan is bailing him out.  Dae-Su leaves the police station to find a public phone and call his young daughter, as it is her birthday.  He passes the phone to Joo-Hwan and seconds later, Dae-Su is gone.

Where has Dae-Su gone?  Oh, only off to be imprisoned for 15. freakin. years.  Throughout this time, he is confined to a small hotel room, being controlled by an unseen person.  15 years later, and poof, he's out.  Standing on the roof of a building, dressed as a businessman, he re-enters society, but his journey has just begun.

He finds himself at a sushi restaurant, being served by a beautiful chef, Mi-Do.  When he passes out, she takes him to her home to recover.  He tells her of his intentions to find who imprisoned him.  But soon he will find out that the stakes are even higher.  He meets his captor, and learns that he has 5 days to find out why he was locked up for all this time.  If he does not discover the reason, Mi-Do will be killed.  If he does, the captor will kill himself.

I can't give up too much more of the story without seriously spoiling it.  But let it be said that this is one of the craziest twists I have ever seen in a movie.  I was literally watching it yelling, "no way.  Seriously, no way."  This is a really exciting and thought-provoking movie.   And although it's not traditional horror per se, it's chock-full of violence and torture, not to mention an awesome storyline.  Check it out.

Random: Amityville Horror House Sold Again

If you live in the New York area, the Amityville Horror legend is one you know well.  Pretty much every kid in Queens and Long Island has ventured to see the house at 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville.  Of course, we all know by now that although the movies were cool, most of the story is probably false.  Yes, it is true that Ronald DeFeo killed his entire family in that house.  And it is accurate that the Lutz family moved in a year later.

However, numerous people and occurences (or lack thereof) point to the fact that the story was completely made up by the Lutzes in order to sell the "true story" book.  All subsuquent residents report no problems while living there. 

The tourism over the years has bothered the residents of Amityville so much that they changed both the address and appearance of the house.  Even though all of this took place decades ago, it still makes the papers every time the house is put on the market.  This time, the house was listed for $1.15 million, and was sold for an undisclosed amount.

I'm a versatile blogger, yo.

I'm a bit of a young'un in the horror blogging world so this is my first award!  Thanks to The Great White Dope (, I have my very own Versatile Blogger Award.,.

Now to the requirements...

Post Seven Things About Yourself

1) I'm a black belt in karate.  Many people are not aware of this...until it's too late....mwahahahhaahaa

2) I love Rob Zombie's movies.  Sue me.

3) My favorite horror movies are The Devil's Rejects and From Dusk Til Dawn.  I obviously love all the classics like NOES, Halloween, Friday the 13th, etc. but I can't pick a favorite out of those, so I just picked different ones.

4) I'm training for the 2011 New York City marathon.

5) I have two cats, Liza and Maude.

6) I don't have cable and haven't had it for five years.  Maybe this is why I watch so many horror movies.

7) I live in an apartment that is probably the size of most people's living rooms.  Gotta love New York City.

Pass the Award to 15 Other Blogs

I honestly think that just about every horror blog in existence has this award by now.  But if you don't have it, and you want it, hit me up in the comments and I will add you on here ;o)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Ichi the Killer (2001)

I love Takashi Miike.  Loved Audition and Imprint, the episode he did for Masters of Horror.  The guy in all the pictures for this movie actually is not Ichi.  That was really confusing to me when I started watching this movie and I was having a hard time keeping all of the Japanese names straight in my head.

The man in all the pictures is actually Kakihara.  His boss, Anjo, has gone missing and he is in charge of finding him.  In a way, he relishes this, because it allows him to inflict pain and suffering on many individuals in attempts to find Anjo's whereabouts.  But in turn, Kakihara himself enjoys pain to an extreme extent.  In fact, he so enjoyed the pain inflicted on him by Anjo that it motivates him further to find him.

Meanwhile, people are getting killed all over the place by a mystery man named Ichi.  The murder scenes he leaves behind are ridiculously bloody and violent, yet the identity of Ichi remains hidden.  We learn that Ichi is actually a timid and reclusive individual who has been trained to kill using the power of suggestion.

As Kakihara goes through the rival gangs searching for the perpetrator, he finds himself seeking out Ichi.  Obviously, a showdown is bound to ensue, but what will be the outcome?

I wouldn't exactly call Ichi the Killer a horror movie, per se, but it is extreme and ultra violent.  I enjoyed the storyline, although it was a bit slow moving at times.  The torture and death scenes were truly awesome, and there were some methods of murder I have never seen in a horror movie before.  I didn't find this as good as Oldboy but definitely worth checking out.