Sunday, January 9, 2011

Troll 2 (1990)

Hearing that something is literally the worst movie of all time is really just a challenge to me.  Troll 2 was made four years after Troll and was apparently aiming to capitalize on the success of the first movie.  However, it has nothing to do with the original plot and contains no trolls whatsoever.  Challenge accepted, Troll 2.  Let's do this.

The "plot" of Troll 2?  A family is recovering from the loss of their grandfather.  Their son is struggling the worst, still often imagining his grandfather reading stories to him about creatures and goblins.  In order to recoup and take a break, the family decides to do a house exchange with some people in the country.  They haul out to Nilbog, a town of only 26 people in order to get away from it all.

However, when they arrive, the boy is plagued by visions of goblins forcing him to drink green goo.  He sees his family eating all of their food covered in the stuff, and he refrains from eating.  This causes his father to go on a weird rampage and declare a hunger strike as well.  Meanwhile, another woman gets infected with green slime and her a a nerdy guy go running into some sort of weird castle-type thing for help.  Soon we learn that the people of Nilbog are all some sort of plant-eating goblins and OMG, NILBOG IS GOBLIN SPELLED BACKWARDS!!1!!!11! 

The battle ensues between the vegetarian goblin residents of Nilbog and the human visitors.  It's silly and crazy and just all-around terrible.  I was bored.  I forced myself to sit through it until the ridiculous end.

The acting in this movie is truly horrendous.  It really sounds like the people are reading directly off of a piece of paper, with absolutely no feeling or inflection at all.  The plot made zero sense and I was never really sure what was going on.  I obviously knew this was going to be bad, but I'm sad to admit that I didn't put it in the "so-bad-it's-good" category.  I just found it to be annoying and boring, and I don't even think the Troll 2 drinking game could help me watch this one again.