Wednesday, December 7, 2011

American Horror Story Season 1 Episode 9

*fans self*  Even more banging in this episode than we're used to from AHS.  Ryan Murphy is going alllll kinds of Christian Troy on this shit.  Vivien is in the looney bin, and Hayden is angry.  Oh so angry.  All the ghosts she keeps sleeping with are not making her feel any better.

Back to 1947.  A neighborhood doctor, David Curan, is now living in the house.  He services local patients.  Services as in bowm chicka bowm bowm.  Elizabeth Short (Mena Suvari) arrives, looking to get her teeth fixed so that she can be a big star.  She has no money, but can provide other forms of payment.  He knocks her out with the gas and rapes her.  But ooooopppss!!  She doesn't wake up.  He's worried about what to do with the body, but Dr. Montgomery is more than happy to take care of it.  He acts like he's going to bring her back to life, but instead hacks her all up and dumps her on the lawn.  She is, supposedly, the Black Dahlia.
Back to present day, and Ben gets a call from the hospital.  Vivien is not well enough to handle the news that her twins have two different fathers.  Seems highly improbable, but so does much of this series.  Ben is getting seduced by the women of this house from all angles, and he is trying to stay faithful to his wife.  Are men this weak?  Seriously?  But when he finds out about these different fathers and such, he takes off for the hospital to confront a pretty comatose Vivien.  He accuses her of being a hypocrite, cheating on him herself, all while playing the martyr.  He thinks the father is that security guy, but apparently he shoots blanks, so even if he did sleep with Vivien (I thought no) he would not be the father.

Enter Travis, Constance's boytoy.  Did you guys forget all about him?  Me too.  That Constance is quite the firecracker, but I am confused why so many men love her.  She's drunk and boots him out to go walk the dog and get cigs.  On the way to the store, he runs in Horny Hayden.  They bang, which is no surprise at this point.  Hayden's sister and a detective show up at the Murder House, looking for the supposedly missing Hayden.  She appears, looking fresh as a daisy, declaring that she is now living with Ben.  Case closed.

Hayden nabs Travis for a booty call, and finally indulges her insatiable need to kill someone actually living.  Charles Montgomery "takes care" of the body, with Larry dumping it outside a random basketball court.   Meanwhile, Constance realizes that Tate has impregnated Vivien, and Mommy Dearest is pissed.  She makes Tate cry, which is not too hard to do.

Finally, Constance speaks to her reality-wannabe psychic about what would happen if someone was impregnated by a ghost.  Apparently it will usher in the End of Days, Satan's spawn, etc. etc.  Ooooppss!  Guess Tate should've kept it in his pants.  Can you believe we're approaching Episode 10?  Can't wait!