Monday, February 27, 2012

The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 10

It's so hard to find pictures to use for my blog posts directly after the episode airs on Sunday.  So, sorry for substandard accompanying shot.  There's a couple of storylines that they're dragging out a little too much, Sophia-style.  I don't really care about this kid that got impaled on the fence, and I care even less about Herchel's whiny daughter who is making a half-assed attempt at suicide.  I do, however, care about Rick and Shane and their paternity debacle riding together in a car towards a massive zombie hoard. 

So the kid's leg is fixed up and it's time to go drop him off somewhere.  Rick and Shane decide that they're going to drive 18 miles away so that he can't find his way back.  This all sounds like a sort of convoluted plan.  They stop in the midst of the drive to discuss Shane's relationship with Lori.  Rick makes it clear that Shane will not be involved with Lori, and that the unborn child is not his, and Carl isn't his either.  Shane gives a kind of touching speech about how he didn't keep Lori and Carl alive, but how they kept him alive, and that he never looked at Lori in a sexual way prior to thinking Rick was dead.  I know everybody thinks Shane is an asshole, but I actually think he is kind of lonely.  You know, Rick has his family, Andrea has Dale, and he doesn't really have anyone.  That makes me sort of sad for them.

However, things take a turn for the worse when they arrive at the public works building where they plan to leave their little hostage, Randall.  Shane plans on just shooting him a la Otis, and Rick disagrees.  A pretty badass fight ensues, and Shane even dumps a motorcycle on Rick!  The zombies descend and Randall sort of helps out.  This causes Rick to rethink his decision to abandon him there.  Then he drops a bombshell.  He went to school with Maggie and he knows exactly where they're all holed up at.  Rick now becomes less concerned about having one extra mouth to feed, and more concerned about the group from the bar infiltrating their safe haven.

Shane gets trapped on a bus with a dozen or so zombies trying to bust in.  Rick andRandall have a clear escape and could easily ditch Shane.  For a moment, they appear to be doing so, but swing towards the bus and rescue him.  They keep randomly zeroing in on this zombie wearing a suit traipsing through the woods.  Does someone know him?  Weird.

Meanwhile, back at the house, it's hormone central.  Lori and Maggie attempt to make some food for Maggie's sister (do we know her name?  I can't remember) which she doesn't eat.  However, she steals a knife to attempt slit her wrists.  We are then subjected to the longest conversation EVER between her and Maggie about the pros and cons of suicide in the zombie apocalypse.  She wants them to kill themselves together.  Herschel is strangely absent from all of this.

Lori and Andrea argue.  Lori calls Andrea out for not helping with the "women's" chores around the house, instead protecting the farm with the men.  It is not possible for me to hate Lori any more than I do right now.  Andrea is assigned to watch Miss Suicidal and she just opens the door and tells her to do what she wants.  This culminates in her cutting her wrist with a mirror and being easily stitched up by Herschel.  Andrea says this means she "made her choice," to live apparently.   Andrea is no longer allowed in the house.  There is way too much talking in this episode.

Next week, they bring Randall back to the farm, only to find out he's a traitor?!  There seems to be a lot of violence happening, and I'm looking forward to less talking, more awesomeness.

Monday, February 20, 2012

When a Stranger Calls Back (1993)

This movie has been creeping into my mind lately, and with the holiday off of work, I was able to get ahold of it.  When my sister and I were younger, this movie was a great source of fear for us.  We taped it off of television, and watched it over and over.  When a Stranger Calls Back is the sequel to When a Stranger Calls, starring Carol Kane.  Kane returns for this movie as a grown version of the teenager stalked in the original movie.

In this sequel, Julia (Jill Schoelen) is babysitting for two children who are already asleep.  She does the regular babysitter thing, watching MTV and doing homework, until she hears a knock at the door.  A man states that his car is disabled, and requests to be let in to use the phone.  Julia refuses, but offers to call the Auto Club for him.  It's then that she learns the phone is out, but doesn't wish for the man outside to realize that.  She says she called, and the man goes on his way.  However, he returns some time later to say that they never arrived, and requests that she call again.  Still not wanting him to know that she's stranded without phone service, she fakes the call.  He returns once again to tell her that he sees someone creeping about the house.  She checks on the children and realizes they're gone.  She tries to escape the house, only to find that the creeper is in the living room.  She escapes just in time and the children are never found.

Fast forward to five years later, where Julia is going to school and living in an off-campus apartment.  She keeps her apartment OCD-level organized, and is frightened to realize that small changes have been made over the last few months.  She reaches a breaking point when she finds a child's sweater hanging in her closet.  She runs to the police, who involves women's advocate, Jill (Carol Kane).  Having experienced similar trauma, she takes Julia under her wing, and brings in John Clifford (Charles Durning) to help investigate.

Let's pause a moment to admire the amazeballs hair in this movie:

The killer/stalker/whatever in this movie is one of the most bizarre that I've ever seen.  Being a weirdo ventriloquist, slapping someone in a coma repeatedly, painting yourself like a brick wall?  There are some seriously creepy moments in this movie.  Just little touches like the kid's shirt hanging in the closet, the faceless dummy, and the milk carton, that just give you the shivers.

I am a huge When a Stranger Calls fan, but this sequel keeps the action going more steadily than it's predecessor.  Although the general style is so early-90s lame, the acting is pretty on point.  I remember how much I loved this movie when I was younger, and I'm happy to say I still liked it nearly two decades later.  Rock on, Carol Kane.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Walking Dead - Season 2: Episode 9

The last episode ended with Rick being too awesome for words.  I almost forgot Lori was nearly dead in a car surrounded by walkers.  I hope she gets eaten.  Seriously, she is insufferable.  Rick just finished being the most awesome person alive and Herschel and Glen are in awe. 

The group is getting ready to leave when a car pulls up.   It's more of the dudes' group who heard the gunshots.  Rick shuts some shit down and claims they drew on them and it's time to pack it up and go.  All the people back at the house realize that Lori is gone, and Carol learns that she asked Darryl to go with her.  Darryl says he's "done being an errand boy" (yes!!) and calls Lori a "dumb bitch" (double yes!) 

Now it's a standoff at the bar and the farm people seem to be the stronger side.  Shane leaves to look for Lori, by himself, in the car where he and Andrea banged.  Awesome.  Glen, Rick, and Herschel make a plan to escape.  Turns out Herschel could shoot all along, but just didn't "want to." He never would have survived all that Atlanta nonsense. 

They try to escape and pretty much agree to shoot everything in their way.  Unfortunately, on the way out, they run into a kid with his leg impaled on a fence. I say shoot him in the head, but Rick has compassion.  They attempt to cut off his leg, but his screaming attracts Walkers.  As the Walkers descend, Rick takes drastic measures.

Lori is wandering and Shane saves her stupid ass again.   He lies and says that Rick is back so that she'll agree to return to the camp.  After everyone reconvenes, Shane spills about the pregnancy and Carl is surprised.  He wants to name the baby Sophia.  LoL.  Shane insists that what they had was real.  Lori disagrees.   Why does he want this emaciated bitch anyway? 

As everyone else gears up to look for Rick/Glen/Herschel, they make it back.  Huge scandalous moment when Maggie runs right past Herschel to get to Glen.  Love it.  They have the guy with the messed up leg, Randall.  The others are worried about him escaping and bringing more people back to the farm, which shouldn't happen since they blindfolded him on the way there.  The Darryl/Carol sexual tension continues.  Herschel and Maggie have drama.

Shane and Andrea chat since they are the only "outcasts."  I wouldn't mind being an outcast with Shane.  Rick strips and looks muy caliente.  Lori strips and looks skeletal.  "You killed the living to protect what's yours?"  She is stupid and is playing Shane and Rick against each other.  Although I think Rick is killing it right now, I'd pick Shane any day.

The peek at next week looks super-dramatic!  Why must we wait seven days each time?!?!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Like Christmas in February, The Slumber Party Massacre randomly appeared on my queue today.  This randomly reminded me of the Christopher Pike book Slumber Party, which of course, I now must obtain.  My research into purchasing a Christopher Pike book is turning into me buying a mass quantity of Christopher Pike and R.L. Stine books from EBay.  I'm sure my husband is going to be thrilled. 

Back to SPM.  We've got the typical 80s high school slasher setup.  Lots of T&A, shower scenes, short-shorts in gym class, and several girls who avoid wearing bras.  Trish's (Michelle Michaels) parents are going out of town for the weekend and she is planning a slumber party.  OMG. remember those?  My favorite slumber party memory consists of my sister, my friend Ashley and I squeezed together on my parents' pull-out couch watching Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and 4 and snarfing more sugar and caffeine than ever should have been put in our presence.  I'm quite sure it included Fun Dip.  This memory is closely followed by another time (again at my friend Ashley's) where we stayed up all night watching The Stand and recreating the scene from our favorite NOES sequel, where Kristen washes down coffee grounds with Diet Coke.  Truth be told, it tasted disgusting, made me bounce off the walls all night/morning, and is a fun story to tell at bars. 

Anyway, the girls start arriving for the slumber party and we just know this is gearing up to be a good time.  Meanwhile, the apparent new girl/outcast, Valerie (Robin Stille) stays home with her little sister.  The hilarity of this?  Her little sister finds a Sylvester Stallone Playgirl while Valerie investigates a noise outside.  Seriously, who knew such a thing even existed?  Google confirms it:

I feel like I'm forgetting an important plot part, since I'm apparently distracted by memories and occurrences in this movie that are not integral to the plot at all.  Oh yes, there is an escaped killer on the loose, wielding a gigantic drill.  The girls better watch out.  So the slumber party is in full swing and the girls are changing into their flimsy little nighties.  I've been to many sleepovers in my lifetime and they mostly involve sweatpants. 

To add to the equation, there are some guys playing tricks on the girls, such as screwing with the fuse box and leaving bloody Barbie dolls around.  While the girls invite the guys in and make strawberry daiquiris all around, the serial killer is slashing people one-by-one.  We've got awesome deaths like a girl kissing a beheaded guy and a pizza delivery guy with his eyes gouged out (also, $6 for a pizza?!?!  Awesome!)  We even get treated to a dead girl in the fridge!

While the driller killer runs around ending lives, everyone else seems confused and/or stupid.  Someone even stops to eat some pizza.  I know when I need to collect my thoughts during a mass murder, I take a break for a slice.  The slasher continues as most do, with the high schoolers being picked off, while the killer continues to traipse around with a drill with a cord on it.  LOL.  We do see lots of girl power near the ending of this movie, and I like that action.

Funnily enough, this movie was written by a feminist and was meant to be a parody.  However, the producers didn't see it as such, so it ends up both intentionally and unintentionally funny at points.  And in true 80s fashion, the entire score for the movie was done on a Casio synthesizer.  Well played, sirs, well played.         

Monday, February 13, 2012

Hollow Man (2000)

Hollow Man has always held a special little place in my cold, dark heart.  Contrary to what you may think, I have actually been to a drive-in theater.  Growing up in Upstate New York, there were actually several to choose from.   The Hollywood Drive-In was a favorite, and when I was a teenager, we saw a double feature of The Cell and Hollow Man.  Jennifer Lopez nonwithstanding, The Cell scared the life out of me (mental note to review it sometime) and I really enjoyed Hollow Man.  When I spotted it on Netflix instant recently, I figured it was time for a rewatch.

I forgot about all the animal testing, caging, and general abuse in this movie and that makes me a little sad from the get-go.  When watching horror movies, I typically care about animals more than humans.  Does that say something about me as a person?  I also forgot how many random people are in this movie.  There's Kevin Bacon of course, but also my favorite babysitter Elisabeth Shue, Josh Brolin, Joey "Merrill Bobbit" Slotnick, and Kim Dickens.

So the plot of Hollow Man is that the government has tasked some scientists with making a human disappear and reappear.  I don't understand how this would help our country in any way, but whatevs.  After various success with gorillas, the main scientist, Sebastian (Kevin Bacon) volunteers to be the first human subject.  Of course something has to go wrong and he is stuck in the invisible form.  Annoyed at first, he decides to leave the lab and have some "fun."  (P.S. Kit from Nip/Tuck is in this too, showing off her goodies -- was this movie central casting for that show?)

Much like the primates before him, the serum makes Sebastian a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs.  In addition to traipsing around the city at night attacking single women, he begins to turn on his former co-workers.  The action during the last 45 minutes or so starts to drag a bit and gets a little Die Hard with the elevator shafts and whatnot. 

The effects in this movie are pretty badass.  The disappearing and going back to real form are detailed and freaky.  Apparently a seriously realistic model of Kevin Bacon was created for this flick and was donated to science since it was so awesome.  Funnily enough, this movie has the same director as Showgirls, my most favorite guilty pleasure movie.  This flick has held up pretty well over the last decade, and I'm glad to see it available on Netflix instant.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Walking Dead - Season 2: Episode 8

Shane's my boy right now, so he's the only picture going on this blog post.  The outlanders of the farm shot all the barn zombies and no one living there is happy.  Get a clue, people.  Andrea is getting her shit together and some writers are setting up Daryl and Carol to bang.  Herschel is kicking everyone out and Glen/Maggie are sad.  Rightfully so.  She belongs more with Rick's group than anything.

There's a little funeral for people that everyone loved and all the other walkers get burned.  Rick looks extra sexy in this second half of the season and I'm hoping they're setting him up to leaving annoying bitch Lori.  She thinks he's making Carl "cold."  Seriously lady?!  This is a world full of death and destruction.  Someone ready to shoot an intruder would be an improvement here.

Shane looks sexy taking a little bath at the water pump.  Carol is mourning her zombie child.  Herschel goes missing and a wayward flask makes everyone think he's at the town bar.  A road trip is in order.  They take a car instead of horses.  Good call.  Glen is sad, Rick is foxy.  Glen admits to getting the morning after pills, and Rick already knew -- scandal!!  Darryl bitches out Lori and I am in loveeee.  Herschel is predictably in the bar getting sloshed.  You know that's where you'd find Scream Queen at ;)  Well that or in Shane's bed.  Me-ow.  

Lori looks all suburban mom driving in her Taurus to find Rick.  She behaves stupidly as usual. Herschel is drunk and combative.    Ahhh!!  Rene from True Blood and some fat dude show up.  We definitely need more characters on this nonsense.  These guys beg to get let into the farm for food and chicks.  Rick and Herschel are not having it.  I get distracted wondering who Rene would hook up with.  Holy crap, Rick has gotten hard.  Starting to think Rick and Shane are on the same page and I'm lovin' it.  Sexy law enforcement all around, ladies. 

No preview this week?  Instead I have to watch Kevin Smith for 30 seconds?  Unacceptable.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)

Wrong Turn is the franchise that no one will admit to liking.  Come on, you know you get a kick out of this shit.  The cannibals are fucking awesome and the deaths are always gory and creative.  There's plenty of T&A for the dudes, and although the backstories are pretty standard (you gotta get those kids in the woods somehow) I think they have unique little twists.

The Wrong Turn installments are always kind of a who's-who of random horror actors and this time is no exception.  Appearing in a franchise that won't die is kind of a right of passage in the horror biz.  In WT3, we have a couple different stories going on.  There is a group of cute twenty-somethings white-water rafting, and a prison transport bus full of convicts.  The rafters are attacked, which is fairly predictable, but we get a lot more action with the prison bus.  It is run off the road by one of the cannibals, and bursts into flames, leading to a convict takeover of the situation.  I could get on board with this. 

One of the cute chicks, Alex, (the non-slutty one, of course) survived the cannibal attack and she meets up with the prison survivors.  Being the only girl in a group of sex-starved convicts seems like it would present a problem, but Alex (Janet Montgomery) seems to be able to hold her own.  There's an interesting character twist in this one, a relocated sheriff that grew up in the area.  Not only does he supposedly know the way to safety, but the others are convinced that he knows what's going on with the cannibals.  There's also this weird side-story about some found money, which keeps slowing the group down from escaping the cannibals, since they're carrying bags of money.  That just seems counterproductive.   The money meets an ironic end, which amuses me.

Overall, this movie definitely wasn't as good as #1 or even #2, but it was a solid installment to the franchise.  The deaths are fucking badass as usual, but I was a little disappointed to see the lack of actual cannibals in this movie.  We pretty much only have Three-Finger, who dominates the storyline.  Because of this, the plot (and subsequently, action) drags a little bit towards the middle/end.

Although we all know this series is supposed to take place in West Virginia, this sequel was actually filmed in Bulgaria (as several horror movies are nowadays) and almost all of the actors are British.  The problem with this is that mid-scene, the characters sometimes forget they're playing Americans, and randomly drop their accents.  Maybe they could take a cue from Ryan Kwanten? ;)

This was a decent flick and had some sweet effects.  The ending made me wonder if Four Four should do a supercut of people stating that dawn has arrived and/or they have "made it through the night."  I've seen this happen twice today, with both this movie, and Hell Night!  Anyway, looking forward to Wrong Turn 4.

Hell Night (1981)

Thanks to Final Girl for alerting me to this movie, or it may have languished on my 300-strong instant Netflix queue for longer than it should have.  It's strange to see Linda Blair at age 22...she still looks a bit like the little girl whose head went 360 a decade earlier, but bears absolutely no resemblance to her current self.  I think everyone has probably seen Linda Blair at a convention or two, where she's now very skinny and cuckoo for PETA.

Hell Night is about some sort of random fraternity initiation where pledges have to spend the night in a mansion where some dude killed his whole family and himself.  Basically, there are only two couples staying there, but other members of the fraternity are lurking around the house, setting up various pranks to scare the overnighters. 

Some of my favorite things about 80s horror movies are the outfits and the ridiculous dialogue.  As I watch, I can only imagine the kind of thought that went into dreaming up these one-liners.

 "There's a dead chick in my bed!  The whole world's gone mad!"

Also always surprising to me is the "normal" size of the "sexy" actresses, especially as compared to the veritable skeletons traipsing about today's horror flicks. 

 Not an exposed bone in sight....

There are some pretty entertaining deaths in Hell Night, with everything from beheadings to full head twists (an Exorcist nod, maybe?).  There are some genuinely creepy scenes, especially those in the "tunnels" beneath the house.  I'm a New Yorker, so EW RATS!  There are some super strong gorky dudes skulking around and they want all those pesky college students dead. 

 Sexy, right?

You would suspect that this is a case of the most recognizable actor/actress survives the night, and I would say your gut instinct is probably right.  However, we do get treated to some decent acting from Ms. Blair, along with those blood curdling screams that made her so damn famous in the Exorcist days.  I did so love the final iconic shot of a sweaty and disheveled Linda Blair emerging from the house at dawn, victorious, at least for now.  Hell Night is far from the best slasher of the 80s, but it embodies so much that we loved about that decade of horror flicks -- corny special effects, delightful over-acting, hilarious dialogue and nonsensical back stories. 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Terror Trap (2010)

Psychos in a backwoods hotel?  Unbelievable, right?  Terror Trap appears to be another installment in the Psycho ripoffs.  This one's got a cobbled-together cast of "oh, I know that guy" types including Michael Madsen, Jeff Fahey, David James Elliot, and Heather Marsden.  Madsen always seems to get top billing no matter how much he's actually in a movie, because come on, Reservoir Dogs was the shit.

Don (David James Elliot) and Nancy (Heather Marsden) are riding along in rural Louisiana when they are struck by a car that quickly drives away.  After waiting by their disabled car for a while, a weird sheriff (Jeff Fahey) shows up.  He explains that there are no tow trucks or car rentals available at this hour and they should stay at a nearby motel.  Clearly that's a stupid idea if I ever heard one, but they trek over anyway.  The hotel has a creepy front desk person and cameras that seem to be watching their every move.  The couple seems ridiculously naive, ignoring blood on the wall and screams from next door just so they can get a little shut eye.

Meanwhile, there's some sort of kidnapping/murder/hooker ring where people wear strange masks and Michael Madsen is somehow involved.  I worry that this is going to be one of those low-budget flicks with way too much going on when they could have kept it simple and more effective.  The couple is completely insufferable and I spend a lot of time hoping they will just die.  Then we have the Ukranian hookers yanked from the set of Taken and a bunch of truck drivers gawking at security cameras and it's a party.  Madsen waxes all philosophical stoner to distract us from the fact that this movie is going absolutely nowhere.  There is a lot of time taken up by people watching cameras and making phone calls.

When I told my husband I was watching this movie, he responded "haha, Terror Crap."   Little did I know he was right.  To call this a ripoff of Vacancy would probably be a compliment.  I understand that Madsen is trying to get an obscene amount of movies under his belt for some sort of self-satisfaction, but I really hope he can avoid junk like this in the future.

Afraid by Jack Kilborn

I'm in a bit of a funk lately, mostly due to an extreme amount of stress at work.   Therefore, when I reach for my Kindle, or my remote, I'm sort of wanting to avoid any intense thought or concentration.  Therefore, I've been doing a lot of re-reads and re-watches, not to mention zoning out in front of mindless reality television.

I read Afraid sometime last year, when I was plowing through Kilborn/Konrath books at lightning speed.  Although I favored Trapped and Endurance (both of which I apparently remembered to write reviews about) Afraid was pretty damn good as well.  So in my re-read stage, I decided I'd give it another go and actually write a review this time.

Afraid involves some characters from other Kilborn works, most notably Taylor from Truck Stop, Serial, and Trapped.  Both Kilborn/Konrath and Blake Crouch's books have characters that move in and out of them, as some books take place before others and vice versa.  This particular book focuses on a special ops unit that has crashed into a small Wisconsin town.  The unit is programmed to achieve a specific objective, by any means necessary.  The group consists of various death row and psychiatric hospital escapees who have been modified to conform to these standards.  They've been enhanced both physically and mentally, being able to withstand extreme amounts of pain, as well as causing it.

Afraid involves many "townspeople" characters, and jumps back and forth between the viewpoints of different people.  The characters were well-developed, and Konrath/Kilborn showcases his incredible talent for providing detail, especially in terms of the violent parts of the story, of which there were many.  The plot has a lot of moving parts, but I didn't find it difficult to keep track of.  There are several components to the story -- from thriller to extreme horror to military history.  Definitely not a read for the squeamish -- the toe scenes and kidney-mauling definitely got to me -- but this one is classic Kilborn/Konrath, so check it out if you're a fan.

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)

Recently, a smattering of Children of the Corn movies became available on Netflix, but #2 is strangely missing.  Instead of waiting for some crazy Netflix agreement with the distributor to materialize, I decided to cut my losses and go straight to #3.

So apparently in this installment, there are actually parents living with children in the possessed town of Gatlin.  There's a dad and his sons, Eli and Joshua.  When the seemingly "evil" younger child Eli offs his dad, the two are declared orphans and are turned over to social services.  In horror movies, foster parents always get the shit end of the stick.  While these people clearly mean well, they always get stuck with the craziest-ass kids.

The kids have been pulled from the farm and dumped into inner-city Chicago, where they struggle to assimilate.  Joshua is anxious to make friends, but Eli is intent on wearing his Amish-esque clothes and just being a general weirdo.  He brings corn with him from Gatlin, and plants it near his new home, setting off a strange chain of events.  Apparently "He Who Walks Behind the Rows" can be transported elsewhere via corn?  Random.

All the adults start dying in weird ways, and of course, Eli is behind it.  At this point in time, I'm having a hard time hearing "Eli" without thinking of Eli Manning (GO GIANTS!) but that's besides the point.  While Eli runs around slaughtering adults, Joshua is all about learning basketball, and getting busy with one of his classmates.  However, he quickly learns that Eli is preaching (brainwashing?) to all the students, and they appear to be buying it.  Why do so many people seem to believe in this ridiculous corn god?  Scientology makes more sense than this shit.  And what sort of city zoning allows for a random cornfield in the middle of downtown Chicago?  Clearly I'm thinking too far into this.

People's faces melt, and their heads crack open and are full of roaches.  A weird impaled head grows out of the ground.  The child Eli has apparently been in that form for quite some time, due to a special Bible he has.  Even though this movie was made a decade after the original, the special effects seem pretty much the same.  Looks like I'm in for a lot of Children of the Corn, since the next 5 sequels are available on Netflix instant.  I'm sure they'll continue to improve ;)

Fun fact: This is both Charlize Theron and Nicholas Brendon's first movie.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Seriously, at what point in time was it okay to put Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, and Tyra Banks in the same movie?  Laurie Strode has been in the mental hospital for years, but is now cheeking her meds in some sort of attempt to escape.  Or confront her brother that she thought she killed but didn't.  Isn't the entire basis of the Halloween franchise "thinking" you killed Michael, but that ending up being untrue?  After numerous movies, we should know this.

Halloween H20 was a pretty sweet movie that marked the return of Jamie Lee Curtis to the Halloween movies.  Apparently they used the somewhat success of LL Cool J in that movie to book Busta and Tyra for this one.  Not sure I would have drawn that conclusion, but okay.  Resurrection picks up three years after H20 left off, and of course, Michael's back.  This time, his mask looks seriously jacked.  What happened to the hair? 

SO many random actors in this movie, including Katie Sackhoff, Sean Patrick Thomas, and Thomas Ian Nicholas.  Apparently some people owed the casting director a favor.  You know someone was all, "Jamie Lee Curtis is in this're totally going to be nominated for a Golden Globe or something!"  Wow, I'm snarkier than usual tonight.  I'm a little hangry waiting for my Thai food to arrive.

So Busta and Tyra create an internet reality show where a bunch of college kids "investigate" the Myers house for clues to the murders.  Knowing that some students wandering around a house won't make for compelling TV, they rig the house with various scare tactics and even dress someone up as Michael Myers.  However, the real Michael is there and clearly he's just going to kill off these suckers one by one. 

The kills are classic Myers, which is never too original.  Lots of stabbings and beheadings, with people hung from various doors and stuck in closets.  There's lot of shaky cam in this due to the "reality show" premise of the whole thing.  All in all, this wasn't the piece of shit I was led to believe, although it certainly wasn't the best in the franchise.  Plus we get to experience all kinds of early 2000s nostaglia from PDAs to Survivor references.  And quite enjoyably, we get treated to the memorable line, "Trick or Treat, motherfucker." (Thanks, Mr. Rhymes!)  Horror movies are such a classy institution ;)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I've never been a Final Destination fangirl, but you have to admit, they've got quite the formula down.  Much like Saw, it's the franchise that won't die, but yet you don't have to put a ton of thought into the screenplay.  Some teenager/20-something has a premonition of a horrific accident and thoughtfully yanks others out of it.  Death ain't havin' that shit, and everyone who survived is on the list to die.

The best part of the Final Destination movies are, of course, the wild deaths.  Ever since Devon Sawa ran screaming from that flight to Paris, we've been treated to a hell of a lot of fun and gory deaths.  If you stay tuned through the credits of Final Destination 5, you'll be treated to a highlight reel of sorts.

So what's the plot of FD5?  A group of attractive 20-somethings take off on a corporate retreat on one of those coach busses.  As usual, the actors contain a bunch of veritable nobodies, and two somewhat stars to get those crowds in the theaters.  The lucky two this time are Emma Bell (The Walking Dead and Frozen) and Nicholas D'Agosto (Heroes and Inside).  Sam (D'Agosto) has a vision of a massive bridge collapse where nearly 100 people die.  In an effort to save everyone, he pulls a handful of people off the bus, who of course, survive.  And as Tony Todd reminds them, death does not like to be cheated, and that bastard is coming for them.
The formula goes pretty much as Final Destination movies go.  People try to avoid certain death, but get killed in bizarre situations and freak accidents.  The deaths in this movie were a blast, and my husband and I found ourselves exclaiming in amusement more than once.  The setups are always part of the entertainment as well, with all these little things being amplified while you wonder what's going to happen next. 

The real highlight of this movie?  The ending.  I thought they were gearing up for a FD6, but instead, they flipped the script.  It was a fun way to likely wrap up the series, and the special effects throughout were on point.  I usually bitch about sequels, especially those made in the last 10 years, but I can't say too much bad about this flick.  Much like the rollercoaster scenes in another one of the FD movies, this one was a fun ride.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

You know I couldn't resist featuring a picture of Zelda Rubinstein here.  She's my fave.  I've been hearing about this movie forever and tonight I decided it was time to check it out.  When my husband is on the couch with me, I attempt to watch at least a 3 star horror movie. 

Behind the Mask is one of those mockumentary deals.  A cutesy, hipsterish film crew is following around a guy who desperately wants to be a serial killer.  In this movie, Freddy, Jason, and Michael are all real, and Leslie Vernon aspires to be like, if not better, than them.  Leslie has created a sort of legend for himself, which includes a house that he supposedly haunts.  As stupid teenagers plan on spending the night there for some sort of made up anniversary, Leslie plans on going on a killing spree.

Leslie has his dream girl in mind, a cute virgin waitress that he plans on making the "final girl" of his whole scheme.  In order to prepare for the night of blood and gore, Leslie gets in incredible shape to "walk" after victims as they run, sabotages "weapons" in the house, and basically pre-plans all the cliches you've ever seen in a slasher flick.  He describes these calmly and without inflection, which actually comes off as comical, which I'm sure they intended. 

Leslie poignantly relates all of the points of a murder to birth and death, as well as phallic and vaginal symbols.  Sounds crazy, but makes sense in the context.  Leslie also has a former serial killer friend, who is Herschel from The Walking Dead!  Big difference between the two?  He says motherfucker, and actually kills people in this movie.  You know, not like letting zombies live in your barn.

If you're looking for a lot of Robert Englund in this flick, look elsewhere.  Freddy himself has a very small part, maybe based on the small production budget?  Or it may have been more of a play on Dr. Loomis from the original Halloween, which was in the movie so little because it's all that they could afford.  According to IMDB, there's a few other little homages I didn't catch, such as the Red Rabbit, a Hellraiser puzzle, and Kane Hodder walking into Nancy's house on Elm Street!  Note to pay explicit attention to detail in the future.

I've been told by so many people I should watch this movie, so I had super high hopes.  I started out kinda meh, and then I really liked this movie.  It had a fun little twist and was vaguely Scream-like, which more humor, but not as overall good.  It was a good flick though!