Tuesday, May 1, 2012
This flick starts out innocently enough, with pretty awful production values, but a bunch of cute girls riding in a car always spells disaster, right? The question is, bloody gory fun disaster, or boring-as-fuck and annoying disaster? Ding, ding, ding! It's number two! Basically, this van full of girls is headed home from a high school football game. Only one of them can actually drive, and she's a new driver at that. Instead of taking the sensible way back to their houses, they decide to take a shortcut that "some guy" told them about. They, predictably, get lost and stop at a roadside gas station to get directions. However, even though they notice they're low on gas, they don't get any. First mistake, of many. Upon leaving the gas station, they fool around with their friend by pretending to drive away as she chases the car. I hate that trick. While doing this, they rear-end a car in front of them. Even the stupidest teenager knows you should stick around and exchange insurance information, but this bunch was missing the day God passed out brains.
Really now was the point that I should have turned this movie off. The next hour and fifteen minutes were a combination of screaming and whining, coupled with the stupidest conversations in history, followed by the most random and depraved things we should have to see in a low budget horror movie. Have you ever seen a screaming teenage girl shit in her own hand and then throw it at an oncoming car? Me neither. What about someone being raped with a screwdriver and then kind of walking around with it in for a while until her friend pulls it out? Could have lived without that one.
This movie is in real time, meaning that the 90 or so minutes of the movie are actually 90 minutes in the lives of these morons. And basically the entire movie is filmed from a crappy van. The villain is laughable, and we never get a motive, which sometimes can be frightening but here is just stupid. Skip this movie at all costs...it's truly that horrible.