Wednesday, November 13, 2013

American Horror Story Coven: The Axeman Cometh

So did everyone hear that Stevie Nicks is going to be on AHS?  Badass!  Misty will be so freakin' thrilled.

Okay, so this week!  We begin with New Orleans 1919 and some dude narrating and working on a typewriter.  Oh, he's the axeman.  They show him killing the surgeon and his wife from the first season.  The Axeman threatens to attack any house that is not playing jazz music.  The witches decide to make a stand, and play opera music instead.  Axeman enters the house, and they stab him repeatedly.

Back in the present day, and Zoe is cleaning out Madison's stuff.  She finds a random room which includes some old pictures and an Oujia board.  They talk to the Axeman and Queenie flips out.  Back at the hospital, Fiona is getting cancer treatment -- did I miss something?  She can also now hear people's thoughts.

Meanwhile, Zoe wants to contact the Axeman again to locate Madison.  He tells her (via the board) to look in the attic, which is of course where Spaulding has her stashed.  Cordelia returns home and still sees her husband banging that redhead.  The girls torture Spaulding to tell the truth about Madison, but he just says (thinks?) that he did it for sex.

Kyle is back at Misty's house and she's giving him a bath.  He is traumatized since his mom used to bang him.  But he is saved by Zoe. Oh, also, Misty is growing a human in her garden, Motel Hell-style.  Cordelia's husband visits Marie Leveau.  

Zoe has to chain Kyle up, since he insists on tearing everything apart.  They get to work on bringing Madison back to life even though girlfriend is looking seriously worse for the wear.  She sits up and her first sentence is, "I need a cigarette."

Apparently Marie hired Cordelia's husband to be a witch hunter.  The readhead he has been banging was one of the witches that Cordelia interviewed some time ago.  Marie has had enough of how long he is taking to gather all the witches, so she gives him one more chance to bring all the witches to her.  Cordelia gets ready for bed and the axeman is there!

The girls grill Madison about what it was like to die.  Axeman chases Cordelia around the room while Zoe looks for a spell to cast.  The spell is easily done, and Axeman exits.  Fiona appears to be back at the same bar where her daughter got blinded, and Axeman hits on her!  Until next week!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

American Horror Story: Coven - Burn, Witch, Burn!

Back to the 1800s and Delphine is having a Halloween party.  She's seemingly doing one of those things where you touch spaghetti and they say its brains.  But it's actually really the eyeballs and intestines of the slaves!  Delphine's daughters plot to kill her.  As revenge, she locks her daughters in the attic with the slaves.

Back to present day and the zombie invasion.  Also, Cordelia with the acid in her face!  In the hospital, we find out they "couldn't save her eyesight." Marie is levitating, and the cutie from next door thinks that the zombies are a Halloween prank.  Nan saves the man candy and they barricade themselves into a car, while the girls inside seek out higher ground.  In the hospital, Fiona goes looking for meds.  Now wasted, she goes wandering around the hospital until she finds some poor girl with a dead baby.  She makes the woman hold and talk to her baby, and does a spell to make the baby live again.

Zoe distracts the zombies with some pans, and runs and hides.  Delphine goes to get ice for Queenie and runs into her zombie daughter.  She begs for forgiveness, but the zombie is not having that.  Queenie sends Spaulding to check on Delphine, but the zombies are already inside.  Queenie tries to use her voodoo powers on the undead, without much success, but a fire poker wielded by Delphine does the trick.

Meanwhile, outside, Zoe comes to the rescue with a chainsaw, looking very Ash from Evil Dead.  She says a phrase, and somehow undoes Marie's spell.  Cordelia's husband arrives at the hospital, and he and Fiona have it out.  Cordelia opens her now-sightless eyes and sees when her husband was banging that maid from the first season.

Fiona returns to the house and they burn Delphine's daughters.  Fiona is very happy with how Zoe performed, and do we think she's the next Supreme?!  The council is back, and they're probably none too happy to see the burning bodies in the yard.  The council demands that Fiona abdicate as Supreme, and the council will rule the coven until the new Supreme shows herself.

Fiona reveals that Myrtle has been involved in all of this, and that she was the one who threw the acid in Cordelia's face.  The council votes that she be burned at the stake.  She claims that she will go proudly.  Fiona is thrilled, of course.  Before she burns, Myrtle states that everyone is just pawns in Fiona's game and they won't know it until it is too late.

So it turns out that Queenie used her voodoo to make Myrtle have the acid burns on her hand.  Fiona hints that Queenie could be the next Supreme, even though we know that is not true.  Misty goes to the scene of Myrtle's death and caresses her head.  Random ending!  Until next week.

You don't mess with the Supreme

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 4: Indifference

Rick rewraps the hand injury that he got from his beatdown on Tyrese.  Carol goes to visit her little adopted child, Lizzie, in the isolation.  The little girl is pretty much being a doomsayer about how everyone that is sick is going to die.  Carol preaches that she should be ready to kill if she has to, in order to survive.  Remember when she was super wishy washy as well?  She's come a long way since season 1, and even Sophia's death.

Daryl's group is in search of a new car, and Carol and Rick go on a run of their own.  Carol explains her reasoning for killing the two people.  I'm starting to think that Michonne and Daryl have sort of an attraction going on, especially because he keeps wanting her to stay at the prison.

Carol and Rick find signs of life on their trek.  Daryl's group finds an abandoned gas station with a possible car they can use.  But also, walkers.  Scream King is surprised that the place has become totally overgrown/blocked by vegetation, but the whole storyline of these seasons is well over a year, right?

Carol and Rick kinda break into someone's house and this zombie falls down the stairs into them.  Am I crazy for thinking this is the first time I've seen a zombie kind of like trip up?  It was weird seeing it have an accident of sorts.  An upstairs door opens and there's a young couple bearing fruit.  Actual fruit like from a tree.  Rick keeps the gun pointed, but they are both kinda gaping in amazement.

The guy's shoulder is dislocated, and Carol has to fix it, while I close my eyes and plug my ears.  The two got separated from their group, and of course, Rick is willing to bring them back, as long as they answer the three questions.  Daryl's group makes their way into the garage to look for a battery.  Tyrese and Michonne lecture each other on anger.  Michonne admits that she doesn't know why she keeps looking for the Governor.

Rick is perplexed by this couple, who genuinely want to help.  Bob tells Daryl the reason that he went to the Big Spot run (booze) and the reason they attracted the walkers (him putting the booze back).  Daryl forgives him pretty quickly.  Carol and Rick dig through houses for food and medication, but also pretty much lecture each other about reasons for killing people.

Daryl's group finally makes it to the college, and goes in search of the medicine.  Carol explains that she knows how to fix dislocated shoulders because she fixed her own after her husband abused her.  Rick calls her out for not acknowledging Sophia, but then regales her with stories of Lori making terrible pancakes.  Because Lori is terrible.   They go to leave the yard where they were gathering veggies and see that one half of the young couple is being snacked on by some zombies.  Carol shows absolutely no reaction, and Rick is either terrified or very turned on.

Daryl's group scoops up all the medicine and they're ready to roll.  Wellll, except for all the zombies in the building.  Another zombie gets tripped up and falls!  Is this significant in some way?  Back in the neighborhood, Carol and Rick wait on Sam, who is late.  Rick thinks they should wait longer, but newly-heartless Carol thinks they should just get back to the prison.

This alcoholic-Bob storyline is actually becoming super-important.  As the group struggles to get out of the building, Bob almost loses his bag.  He fights to get it back, and once he regains it, Daryl learns that only booze is inside.  That is when Daryl LOSES HIS FUCKING SHIT, but also lets him keep the bottle, not to take a drink until they get back to the prison.

Rick makes a lot of threats against Carol, because of her killing the people and all.  I'm feeling for her a little bit, because I do think she was trying to do the right thing.  He basically says that she will be ostracized by the other people at the prison, so she just better start getting a move on now.  Back at the school, Daryl and the group get a start back to the prison, with Michonne agreeing that the trail on the Governor has gone cold.  Carol gets in a car and takes off on her own.  This is making me unreasonably sad, and I think Rick is OVERREACTING.  He drives away alone, and keeps checking the rearview for Carol.  Until next week!!

The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 3: Isolation

Everyone at the prison is stressing over the deaths of their buddies, and digging the requisite graves.  Tyrese is super worked up about the two burned people, one of which is his girlfriend.  He implores Rick to use his detective skills to find out who did it.  Then he just starts beating up on everyone, until Rick has to pound his face in until Daryl pulls him off.

Herschel bandages up Rick's bloody knuckles and they chat about the state of the prison.  Herschel compares Rick flipping the fuck out on Tyrese to his previous alcoholism.  Not the greatest analogy but okay.  Tyrese is frantically digging graves and will not get checked by the doctor, OKAY?!?!  Sasha is coughing and woozy, but thinks a visit to the doctor will fix that right up.  Herschel and Glenn look understandably concerned.

Dr. S gives a foreboding message: "It's starting."  Basically, the people who are sick are dying in their cells and then becoming zombies.  Herschel has a plan to check out a vet college that may not have already been raided.  He offers to go with, but Daryl chimes in with, "out there, sooner or later, we have to run."  Herschel decides to draw a map instead.

Carol goes on a stupid mission to fix a water pump or something, but mostly just chats with Rick.  Rick takes off to chat with Tyrese, who is probably still pretty pissed about the beatdown, and his dead girlfriend.  Carl is not only pissed about going to the children's quarantine, but also oddly concerned about how soon he will have to shoot people.  Glenn is sick.  NOOOOOOO.

Tyrese is keeping watch on the isolation block.  Daryl gets ready to make the run.  Herschel makes a run for the woods, while Carl tries to interfere.  I feel bad for these poor people locked up in the cellblock because they're pretty much getting a death sentence.  And I know Carol is coming across as kind of insensitive, but seriously, I would not survive the zombie freakin' apocalypse to be killed by a cold.  Maggie and Beth have a chat through a closed door.  Beth reminds her that they all have jobs, even though Beth's is pretty much chillin with a baby.

Herschel gathers berries while Carl keeps watch.  They come across a tree zombie that is BAD ASS.

They also see another zombie with her leg caught in a bear trap.  And they decide to LEAVE THEM BOTH.  WHY?!  All zombies must die, right?!  I mean even as slow as the one is walking, she could get to the prison eventually.

Tyrese has a sad chat with Sasha, then decides to go on the run.  He also creeps up on Carol, and asked her to take care of people while he's gone.  In a fit of rage, she knocks over the water supply.  Maggie bitches at Herschel for getting out of quarantine.  Herschel is determined to help the patients with elderberry tea and just general assistance.  He lays some fucking knowledge on Rick and Maggie.  They are too stunned to even respond.

Can we just talk for a second about how Maggie's wardrobe this season is very Lara Croft?  I'm loving the boots but isn't it like a billion degrees in Georgia?  Also remember when we first met her at the farm and she was kind of wishy washy and lame?  She has truly made one of the biggest turnarounds on this show in terms of becoming way more awesome.

Meanwhile, Rick investigates the body-burning, while Carol still works on the water project, alone with the zombies.  Rick has to come and save the day OF COURSE. The new chemistry between Rick and Carol is kinda freaking me out.  On the run, Daryl tries to convince Michonne to stop looking for the Governor.  While fooling with the radio, they hear a voice!  But then also run into a GIGANTIC HORDE OF ZOMBIES.  Like this is worse than that time when they were stranded on that highway.  The car gets stuck on a pile of them, and they're all forced to run for the woods.  Tyrese gets kinda trapped, which seems somewhat intentional anyway.  Daryl knows dude is a weak link and the three of them head for cover without him.

But, surprise, surprise, Tyrese emerges just in time to help out!  And all four run along.  Herschel makes himself useful by handing out tea.  He and Glenn have a heart to heart.  Herschel is really quite the inspirational speaker on this ep.  Carol returns with the stupid water she almost died over.  Rick calls her to task on her little solo adventure.  I hope they don't bang because I'm not really prepared for that.

Rick asks Carol straight up if she killed Carol and David, and shocker!  She did.  Until next week!